A Word of Advice
A few months ago, a young Ethiopian wrote an article on one of our favorite national pastimes፡ መምከር.
The article, which was titled “Weaponized Feedback”, was interesting for many reasons. Some, if not most, will like it because of Meti Gemechu's distinct writing style, which you should definitely read for yourself. But what made this article so compelling to me is how relatable it was. For most of us who live and work in Ethiopia have known, for a very long time, about a particular type of ምክር. The type that, as Meti put it, was: “Filled with vague criticisms and personal judgments. Where there was no space for dialogue, no effort to understand my perspective, and certainly no real investment in wanting to see me grow. It felt less like feedback and more like an attempt to assert some weird form of dominance.”
Now to be clear, the article is not against all types of advice.In fact the author makes a point of reminding us how important constructive feedback is, seeing it as an important tool for guidance, self-development, and professional growth. Especially for young people. But it would be a mistake to confuse the type of advice that is meant to empower and the type that, as Meti put it, is meant to belittle, demean, and chip away at your confidence.Leading her to make this very sharp yet necessary point: “The reality is that not all feedback is valuable, and not everyone giving it has your best interests at heart. Sometimes, feedback is just a mask for bias, ego, or control.”
Now some may be quick to judge the author of this article for her discerning attitude. I suspect even some of you reading this piece may not approve of those who are young, vocal, and cautious of advice givers.You might call them arrogant. You might call them disrespectful.You might even ridicule them by using proverbs like this: “ሞኝ መካሪውን ይጠላል”
But what if I told you that another Ethiopian, a very famous one at that, made the same points over 75 years ago?
What if I told you that this writer, at a very young age, made it a priority to warn other young Ethiopians about our favorite national pastime? And what if I told you his name was ዶ/ር ከበደ ሚካኤል? Welcome back, my dear reader, to Dig Deeper.
A Little Biography
Born in 1909, ከበደ ሚካኤል’s reputation as a talented translator, playwright, and poet is not lost on many Ethiopians.
Some of us know him from those iconic books we always heard about growing up. Books like ብርሃነ ኅሊና, ታሪክ እና ምሳሌ, and የዕውቀት ብልጭታ are but a few examples of the over 25 books he published during his lifetime. Others might go a little deeper and celebrate ከበደ ሚካኤል for his many years of public service. For his was a long career that saw him serve as a journalist at the Ministry of Information, a Director at the Ministry of Transportation, a Cabinet Minister in the Imperial Palace, the Director of the Ethiopian National Library and Archives, as well as the Deputy Director of both the Ministry of Education and the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. And those of us who read his works? Well, let's just say that his honest, sharp, and witty social commentary left a lasting impression. So much so that many still consider him to be our culture's enduring moral compass – someone who not only shaped the world view of previous generations. But one who should also instruct the young people of today. As one famous personality put it: “የእኛን የልጅነት ጊዜ ያደመቁ በሥነ ምግባር ተኮትኩተን እንድናድግ ትልቁን አስተዋጾ ካደረጉት የመጽሐፍ መምህሮቻችን መካከል ዶ/ር ከበደ ሚካኤል አንዱ ናቸው። እናም ይሄ ጠቃሚ ስለሆነ ወደዚኛው ዘመን ብናመጣው ልጆቻችን እና የልጅ ልጆቻችን ደግሞ በእንደዚህ አይነት ሥነ ምግባር ታንጸው ያድጉ ዘንድ ያግዛቸዋል።”
ደራሲ ተስፋዬ ማሞ
Unfortunately, despite all the collective admiration and generational nostalgia that surrounds ከበደ ሚካኤል, there is one important detail that is often overlooked: his age. Especially when he was writing about ምክር. Take ብርሃነ ኅሊና for example, a book that was meant to instruct school children on the finer points of ግብረገብ. Some consider this book to be important because it was his first published work. Others highly recommend it because it was a book they read religiously when they were young. But few commentators ever mention the fact that ከበደ ሚካኤል was only 24 years old when he began warning children about our favorite national pastime: “እንሆ እንደዚህ ነው የዚህ ዓለም ጣጣ ፤
ማንኛውም ነገር ተቃንቶ ቢዋጣ ፤
ሰው በሰው ነገር የሚለው ላያጣ ፤
የሁሉን ቃል ሰምቶ እንዴት ይዘለቃል ፤
ሰው ለራሱ ጥቅም ያሰበው ይበቃል።”
አባት ፥ ልጅ ፥ አህያ (ብርሃነ ኅሊና)
In fact, ከበደ ሚካኤል believed so strongly in teaching children how to be discerning — of both advice and those who offer it — that he went a step further and did two more things.He would, in his late 20s, instruct teachers to teach this poem in a particular way: “በዚህ መጽሐፍ መምህራን እንደምን አድርገው ሕፃናትን እንደሚያስተምሩዋቸው ማሳሰብ አስፈልጊ ሆኖ ስለታየኝ በብርሃነ ኅሊና መጽሐፍ ውስጥ አባት ልጅ አህያ ፣ የሰው ጠባይ እና ንግስት አግሪፒና... የተባሉትን እንደቀረው ንባብ ሁሉ እያነበቡ ማለፍ ሳይሆን ሕፃናት በቃል እንዲያጠኑት ማድረግና የያንዳንዱንም ተረት ምስጢሩን እየገለጡ ማስረዳት ለመምህራን የተሰጠ ዋና አደራ ነው።”
ከበደ ሚካኤል
in አስፋው ዳምጤ’s “የአማርኛ ጥበብ ቃላት ቅኝት”
And he would, at the age of 30, issue a more direct warning to young people in another famous book:
“ብዙ ሰዎች ያቀዱትን የሥራ አሳብ ወስደው ብልህ ለመሰላቸው ሰው ሲያቀርቡለት እሱም ሰንፎ በማስነፍ እንደ ወኃ የበረደ አፍራሽ የሆነ ምክር አምጥቶ እንደ እሳት ግሎ ለሥራ የተነሣሣው መንፈሳቸውን ያቀዘቅዘውና ተስፋ ያስቆርጣቸዋል። ብልህ ሠራተኛ ግን እየሠራና ሳይሆንለትም ሲቀር እያፈረሰ ደጋግሞ በመድከም ብዛት እውነተኛውን ምክር በሥራው ውስጥ ፈልጎ ያገኘዋል እንጂ ከሰው ዘንድ ሔዶ አይጠይቅም። የማያሳሳት መልካሙ ዘዴ ይህ እንደ ሆነ ያውቃልና።”
የዕውቀት ብልጭታ
Some Difficult Questions
So, what are we to make of this?
Why would ከበደ ሚካኤል, a man who is still seen as our culture’s moral compass, go out of his way to warn young people about ምክር?Why would Meti Gemechu, a young and thoughtful professional, warn us about the weaponization of advice in 2025?And why do many Ethiopians still view discernment—of both advice and those who offer it—as something that is alien or inappropriate in our culture?Especially when it is done by young people. Are young Ethiopians not allowed to question the type of ምክር that is given to them? Were these writers just indulging in the unwarranted cynicism of the young, the arrogant, and the overly sensitive? Or is there something else?Is advice, by definition, always seen as valuable and beyond scrutiny in Ethiopian culture? Or is there a deeper, more cultural basis for being cautious of it? Now I know that these are very tough questions.But I find that tough questions are easier to answer when we go back to the basics. So, let’s take a step back and define the word at the center of this cultural debate. And perhaps the best way to do this is by using a dictionary that is as well known as it is culturally rooted.An Inconvenient Truth
Published in 1962, ደስታ ተክለ ወልድ’s ዐዲስ ያማርኛ መዝገበ ቃላት is still highly respected not just because it took 30 years to complete. But also because it painstakingly documented how Amharic is used by ordinary people, in real conversations, across different parts of the country.Giving modern Amharic speakers (and writers) the cultural context for the words we use on a daily basis. As ደስታ ተክለ ወልድ put it:“በሸዋ፣ በወሎ፣ በጎጃም፣ በበጌምድር፣ ባማራ ሣይንት፣ በላስታ፣ በየጁ፣ በስሜን፣ በትግሬ በያውራጃው ሁሉ ላለው አማርኛ ባነጋገር ሳይቀር ብዙ ልዩነት አለውና እኛም በያገሩ ያለውን አማርኛ ለመልቀም፣ ለመሰብሰብ፣ ለማስማማት፣ ለመተርጎም፣ ለማብዛት፣ ለማስፋት ፈጠራ ሳንጨምር ይህን ፅፈናል።”
ዐዲስ ያማርኛ መዝገበ ቃላት በካህናትና በሀገረሰብ ቋንቋ (1921-1950)
It should then come as no surprise that such a dictionary would define advice as፡ “ይህን አድርግ ያን አታድርግ እንዲህ ቢልኽ እንዲህ በለው አለ ፤ መውጫን ማሸነፊያን አስተማረ።”
Which, I imagine, is a definition you not only heard growing up. But was one that was drilled into you through other, more time-honored ways. Most notable of which is Ethiopian proverbs. From proverbs that highlight how valuable ምክር is፡ “ከሺ ወርዋሪ ፥ አንድ መካሪ”
to those that emphasize how constructive: “ሰው ይለፋል ፥ ምክር እንዲያገኝ”
fair: “የማይመክር አይፍረድ ፥ የማያተርፍ አይነግድ”
and beneficial it is: “ባለህ ላይ ቢጨምሩልህ ፥ ባስተዋይነትህ ላይ ቢመክሩህ”
,Ethiopian culture is presented time and time again as a culture that sees advice as inherently positive and those who don't heed advice as inherently foolish: “ሞኝን ብትመክረው ወደ ልማዱ ፥ አህያን ብታጥበው ወደ አመዱ”
But to only view our culture in this way is not just wrong.It is extremely reductive. For a culturally grounded dictionary like ዐዲስ ያማርኛ መዝገበ ቃላት doesn’t just settle for a single definition for ምክር. Instead, it goes ahead and gives us a second, less known meaning. One that is also found in another well-respected dictionary: ከሣቴ ብርሃን ተሰማ የአማርኛ መዝገበ ቃላት.And it is when you read these two works together that you get a more complete picture of what advice can also mean in our culture: “ፈተና ሰጠ ፤ ክፉ ምክርን እንደ ወጥመድ ዘረጋ”
Surprising, right? Now this second definition is also reflected in Ethiopia's oral tradition. Which has a long history of skepticism towards certain types of advice and those who give it.From proverbs that ridicule unsolicited advice:“ሳይጠሩት አማካሪ ፥ ሳይሾሙት ፊታውራሪ”
to those that stress the need to be selective: “ከሁሉም ጋር አትማከር ፥ ከውሻ ጋር አትደበቅ”
discerning: “መጥፎ ምክር ፥ ይብሳል ከጥፋት”
critical: “ሞኝ ከመከሩት እውነት ይመስለዋል”
and vigilant of መካርዎች: “መካሪ ያሳስታል ፥ ኮርኳሪ ያስቃል”
,it is clear that our forefathers had a very nuanced opinion about our favorite national pastime.Which is why ደስታ ተክለ ወልድ leaves us with a third and final definition. A definition that shows just how much our culture is aware of both the constructive and destructive sides of advice: “መካሪ ለተመካሪ የሚሰጠው ጠቃሚና ጎጂ ነገር ፤ ይኸውም ክፉና በጎ ነው።”
Now, I imagine this might be a little uncomfortable for some of you. And to be honest, I don't blame you.I suspect most of you didn't know about this sinister definition of ምክር and all the proverbs it inspired. So I understand your discomfort. I know how we were raised. I know how we were taught about our culture. I know how we, as young people, were told to simply nod, obey, and accept advice without question. So much so that we, as adults, have developed this habit of confusing culture with conformity, age with authority and discernment with disrespect.But the truth is that our culture is far more layered than we have been told, and honestly, a lot more interesting too.Especially when it comes to advice.And you don't have to take my word for it.You don't even have to take Meti's. But you will have a very hard time dismissing ከበደ ሚካኤል. Who, whether you like it or not, understood the society he was writing about. He knew about its complexities as well as its limitations.He understood what ደስታ ተክለወልድ, his culturally rooted dictionary and all these Ethiopian proverbs were describing. He recognized that there is a long and deep-rooted tradition of weaponizing advice in our culture. So he did what any principled social commentator would do. He wrote about it honestly. He gave this social phenomenon a name: አፍራሽ ምክር He described its features: patronizing, disempowering and አሳሳች.And he repeatedly encouraged young Ethiopians to reflect on this important life lesson:Not all advice is innocent and not every መካሪ has your best interest at heart.
Which means that if we truly see ከበደ ምካኤል as a moral teacher, especially for our children, we must be willing to discuss his contrarian yet culturally backed views.Especially when it comes to ምክር.A Word of Advice
So the next time you feel the need to give some advice, I hope you take the time to reflect.
I hope you understand the responsibility you are taking on.I hope you realize that the most effective ምክር is the one that is based on respect, compassion, and humility. Don't be so quick to equate concern with criticism. Try your best to separate your feedback from your personal biases. Stop confusing guiding someone with trying to control them.And never forget that whilst you have the right to give advice, you don't have the right to dictate how it is received.Especially when it comes to young people. But if you are someone that sees discerning young Ethiopians as culturally inappropriate, understand that your age, gender or social standing doesn't make you a cultural expert. Nor does it give you the right to weaponize our culture whenever you don't get your way. Be proud of Ethiopian culture, but don't confuse cultural pride with cultural conservatism. Stop selectively using ምሳሌያዊ ንግግሮች to portray our culture as only supporting your conservative, hierarchical, and rigid world-view. Instead, respect our forefathers enough to fairly depict how diverse and nuanced their outlook was. Especially when it came to advice.Be proud of the Amharic language, but don't confuse your pride in it with a license to judge others. Instead, live what you preach and learn about its rich cultural context. Have the courage and curiosity to look up the words you use on a daily basis. And who knows, you might even learn a thing or two about your favorite pastime: መምክር.Be proud of being from a generation that read ከበደ ሚካኤል in school, but don’t use your childhood reading list as proof of your moral superiority. Instead, have the humility to ask yourself how much you remember his work. Ask yourself how much of his teachings you are actually implementing in your daily life. And ask yourself if you have become the type of thoughtful and principled Ethiopian that would make ከበደ ሚካኤል proud. However, instead of doing any of this, some of you choose to weaponize him. You choose to use his work to wax nostalgic about your morally superior “good old days”. You choose to depict him as some kind of antidote to what you believe is this generation’s lack of ሥነ ምግባር. And you choose to buy his books for your children just so they can champion conservative values.But you, as students of his, should know better. You should know better than to use ከበደ ሚካኤል as a cudgel against young people, especially since he himself was very young when he wrote all those books you love weaponizing.You should know better than to only see ከበደ ሚካኤል as a custodian of traditional values, especially since he spent so much time critiquing the worldview of his generation and those that came before him. And finally, you should know better than to judge those who are young, vocal, and cautious of advice givers, especially since ከበደ ሚካኤል taught you to do the same. For he didn't see the act of questioning advice as being anti-culture. He didn't see discerning young Ethiopians like Meti as being disrespectful.He didn't call their vigilance ብልግና. He didn't call their skepticism ሞኝነት.He didn't call their self-confidence ድፍረት.Instead, he called it የዕውቀት ብልጭታ. 